Gira Gira Bambola

I just found out that an old college friend died.  I guess I should say passed away, that sounds nicer but it still is so surreal to think someone my age, or around my age, is gone.  I believe in an afterlife so I don’t think he just disappeared but I am just not any good dealing with death.  I feel stupid writing about this, I am not family, or even a close friend.  I guess I am just in shock.  So I am on Tumblr having just downed a bottle of sparkling wine.  I don’t know how to deal with death.  Throughout my life I have only really “experienced” death twice.  The first time I was a kid and a man was murdered in my grandmother’s building in D.C.  I think I had met the man but I am not sure.  I heard he was bound and shot.  I was in the lobby when they brought the body down in a stretcher.  That image has never left my memory.  I could see blood seeping through the sheet covering him.  I remember thinking that I was staring at something that used to be a person.  I just can’t understand it.  Someone lives and breathes, goes to work, eats cereal, watches TV, plays sports, and all of a sudden they are gone.  

I just got back from Taiwan.  On the flight back I sat next to a little old Chinese lady.  Every time I looked at her I would tear up.  She was so old and fragile that she needed help getting out of her chair.  Maybe it’s because my grandmother passed away while I was here in Japan that I got so emotional.  I haven’t really had the opportunity to grieve and seeing this adorable lady struggle with the most basic of actions that I couldn’t help to feel sad.  Now I learned through Facebook of all things that an old college friend passed away.  I admit that I didn’t know him that well, but he was a sweet guy.  One of my very first Facebook friends back when it was called “The Facebook.”  How could someone around my age pass away?  

I pray for his family, and hope… well I don’t know what I hope… I hope that even though he is no longer alive that somehow he is ok.  Happy Easter everyone.   

For those who don’t know April is the beginning of the administrative year in Japan.  So this is the season of the annual employee shuffle.  For those of us in the education it means that some of our colleagues will move to new schools and we all have to do some readjusting.  There will be speeches, ceremonies, and black suits.  It’s the way things go.  Speaking of ceremonies I was one of the MC’s for our farewell party.  The Gaijin who can barely speak Japanese was one of the hosts for a major school event!  WHAT?!  Anyway, back to the topic at hand.

Of course I will welcome our new teachers with open arms but I was feeling really sad today about the teachers who are leaving.  There is one teacher leaving from the English department, Yoko Sensei.  She’s been described as an angel, and a mothering sweetheart.  I will really miss her.  She taught me about kimono, and was a darling with my mother.  She’s just awesome!  Even though I don’t know Komine Kyouto Sensei, Kinjo Jimuchou or even Senaha Koucho well I will miss them and Sayaka San, Megumi San, and Kazumi Sensei!  It’s so strange to have this annual rotation.  After almost 4 years it’s still jarring.  I guess part of the reason I was so sad today is the knowledge that I will be leaving this job in a few months and I really don’t want to.  I love my school and my awesome coworkers!  This has been my best year and I wish I could extend!  I will have this bittersweet taste in my soul for a while I’m afraid.